I believe that my good God through his son Jesus Christ made me the way I am for a purpose. My Asperger Syndrome make-up has a role to play in what I can and cannot do.
I do not intend to justify my faith or convert anyone. Most of the world knows the Christian doctrine and some people are acquainted with the life of TRUE Christians like St Damian of Molokai, George Muller, St Therese of Avila and St Therese of Lisieux to name a few. Through history and in contemporary times, their way of life is an example of a flame that continues to burn because of the oil of faith in them.
The Christian faith is a very important invitation to everyone, regardless of race, social status, or lives riddled with mistakes. As it is an invitation, it is up to the individual to accept it or not.
This personal choice is, as the word says, personal, and as such nobody should impinge on it.
My intention in this blog, is to tell of, in all honesty, the help and comfort that I receive from my good God as regards my anxiety and existential anguish, an anguish that is heightened by my Asperger Syndrome.
The main believe that helps me is that my good God knows me and loves me the way I am. He knows me like nobody does, he guides me when I am lost and confused, corrects me with loving discipline, and sooths me with a supernatural love.
About this love of which I am speaking; it is real and it is not easy to explain. The closest that I can come to explain it, is with three words: warmth, calm and peace, all rolled into one.
My good God loves me. However, I do not always respond in love to Him, like on occasions when doubt and fear engulf me, or on the many occasions when I do not follow his instructions and I become unforgiving, angry, judgemental of other people, and harbour jealousy and resentment in my heart. But worst of all, is when I lose trust in Him.
In spite of all of this my good God does not give up on me, and time after time, waits that I come back to Him and say my millionth sorry, and my good God forgives me and makes things better for the millionth time.
Truly I believe that in this earthy reality human nature has the potential to run havoc. No one
escapes this in one way or another. We all have an imprint that sways us to think wrong, feel wrong, and act wrong.
As I am part of this flawed humanity, I know that not even my dearest family members or friends can change this. What then can be done? Fall in a pit of despair and accept that man is doomed? No, that cannot be.
When I was a child, I was told of a way to transcend this earthly misery, a way out: Jesus, and since then, I have tried to follow that way. I say try because as luminous as is ‘The Way’, too many times I have ignored it and have gone my own way. As a consequence of this, I have fallen and suffered harm, and worst of all done harm to others.
To have conversations with my good God and tell him that I love him and need him is the key to my spiritual and mental wellbeing. I do not know what I can do without this moment of prayer in my life, as I am still riddled with anxiety. People will ask why does she still suffer from anxiety if she believes in her good God?
The truth is that I am still a work in progress, a spiritual infant aiming to be a true Christian one day, yet I am absolute certain that Jesus is the way to find real happiness and peace, a peace that the world can never give.
I see what the world gives and I decided that I do not like or want any of it; lust, greed for riches, prestige, power and over inflated self-love and a lack of purity disguised as sexual diversity and equality. This will all give short-lived satisfaction, and it will deplete the soul of light, leading to self-destruction.
For me the formula to be happy is clear. It is called the ten commandments, which are encapsulated in: “Love your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind” and secondly, “love your neighbour as yourself”.
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